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Be Glad You're Not A Bone​-​Eating Snotworm

from Pirate Ninja Zombie by Captain Ambivalent

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about

An educational song Inspired by my friend Damon's status on Google Plus.

lyrics

Have you had a lousy day?
Was it uphill all the way?
Is the world taking the wind out of your sails?
At least you don’t have to be
At the bottom of the sea
Burrowing into bones of fallen whales

When life is getting you down
Wake up and look around
And be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm
When you’re feeling low
Remember all you know
And be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm

Do you think you’ve got it rough?
Having problems with your love?
Well in the proper light the problem pales
If you’re annoyed by men
Getting underneath your skin
At least you don’t have fifty to a hundred microscopic males

When life is getting you down
Wake up and look around
And be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm
When you’re feeling low
Remember all you know
And be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm

They’re kingdom animalia, phylum annelida,
Class polychaeda, order sabellida,
Family sibloniglidae, genus osedax,
Yeah I checked wikipedia and looked up all the facts

Are you having issues with
A surplus or a lack of kids?
Do family planning perils cause you pain?
Well you know it could be worse
Yeah you could be giving birth
Every minute, every hour, of every day

When life is getting you down
Wake up and look around
And be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm
When you’re feeling low
Remember all you know
And be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm
Be glad you’re not a bone-eating snotworm

credits

from Pirate Ninja Zombie, released February 14, 2015
Discrete Drums by Tony Morra
Everything else by Dan Biemer
Muse: Damon Diehl

license

all rights reserved

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about

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Captain Ambivalent Valparaiso, Indiana

A satirical singer/ songwriter/ superhero with a sparkly gold accordion. His glacial rise from obscurity to international obscurity began in Valparaiso, Indiana and has grown to include Doctor Demento, The Midnight Special, South Bend Public Television, PierogiFest, GenCon, one-man shows in Fringe Festivals and alternative theaters, and even a brief cameo on America’s Got Talent. ... more

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