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C​-​Clamps

from Pirate Ninja Zombie by Captain Ambivalent

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about

Another true story song ripped straight from today's headlines.

lyrics

Well I’m looking for my c-clamps
I’ve got c-clamps on my mind
Yeah I’m looking for my c-clamps
Why are they so hard to find?

There are people in this world
Who have never heard of c-clamps
They don’t know what I mean
Or why I sing this song
Other people in this world
Are quite familiar with c-clamps
And they know what I mean
Still don’t know why I sing this song

I looked all over the basement
And I opened every drawer
And I really can’t remember
What I last used them for
There are people in this world
Who cannot afford a c-clamp
It would be a priceless treasure
They could never set aside
Other people in this world
Are quite casual about c-clamps
And will even put them places
They’re impossible to find

But one of the drawers I opened
Didn’t open all the way
Something’s sticking up in back there
Behind the riches on display

Now I want to tell the world
That I finally found my c-clamps
If you know what I mean
That’s why I sing this song
In the back of a drawer
That was stuffed too full to open
If you don’t know what I mean
It’s still why I sing this song

credits

from Pirate Ninja Zombie, released February 14, 2015
Highly Tasteful Mellotron Choir by Mark Frey
Discrete Drums by Greg Morrow
Everything else by Dan Biemer

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Captain Ambivalent Valparaiso, Indiana

A satirical singer/ songwriter/ superhero with a sparkly gold accordion. His glacial rise from obscurity to international obscurity began in Valparaiso, Indiana and has grown to include Doctor Demento, The Midnight Special, South Bend Public Television, PierogiFest, GenCon, one-man shows in Fringe Festivals and alternative theaters, and even a brief cameo on America’s Got Talent. ... more

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