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Haunted By Waffle Houses

from Fear The Accordion by Captain Ambivalent

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about

One night at Front Porch Music's open mic Diana read a beautiful personal poem about her grandfather's passing which contained the phrase 'haunted by Waffle Houses.' I was inspired in a completely different direction.

lyrics

I’m haunted by Waffle Houses
Why do they frighten me?
Shining out in the dark they
Beckon enticingly

What price do they demand?
What is their sinister scheme?
I’m haunted by Waffle Houses
At night in my dreams

I’m haunted by Waffle Houses
Wherever I try to flee
They gather down in the south like
Birds or retirees

Where all the food is shades of brown
And pork counts as a vegetable
I’m haunted by Waffle Houses
Wherever I go

She poured her warmth and sweetness
Out over all the squares but me
She called me ‘hon’ as though she meaned it
But she didn’t mean it

One time I saw a sign
And it just said, ‘ ffle Hou ‘
But they weren’t fooling me
I found their secret out

Am I just paranoid
Or are they following me
I’m haunted by Waffle Houses
At night in my dreams

I see the Waffle Houses
Marching from sea to shining sea
Twenty four hours a day
And open seven days a week
Until there’s no escape
It’s like an Alfred Hitchcock scene
I’m haunted by Waffle Houses at night in my dreams…
I’m haunted by Waffle Houses at night in my dreams

credits

from Fear The Accordion, released January 1, 2012
Dan Biemer: Vocals, Accordion
Mark Frey: Tubor
Drums by Greg Morrow courtesy of Discrete Drums Inc.

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about

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Captain Ambivalent Valparaiso, Indiana

A satirical singer/ songwriter/ superhero with a sparkly gold accordion. His glacial rise from obscurity to international obscurity began in Valparaiso, Indiana and has grown to include Doctor Demento, The Midnight Special, South Bend Public Television, PierogiFest, GenCon, one-man shows in Fringe Festivals and alternative theaters, and even a brief cameo on America’s Got Talent. ... more

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